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Catch Them Winning!
August 28, 2021
Join them in their forward motion vs setting the pace.
In a classroom management seminar that I attended, I learned the power of stepping back to observe the room. As a task oriented person, I typically move first to directing the process and making it happen. What I realized with this approach is that while I can get students to follow, they may not be engaged. If it's my idea, they may just follow blindly, without engagement or interest and perhaps without thinking for themselves. On the flip side, if I step back, observe and leave space, a different dynamic can emerge.
Left with a good question and some space, people will begin to work through an idea in their own head. With a safe environment created, they will share their ideas. With encouragement, many more people will share their ideas. With these shared ideas, we get collaboration as together they begin to think for themselves and together. What happens here is quite exciting.
With this new situation, they begin to get engaged and invested in ideas because they had a part in creating them. This is where the parent and teacher can jump in and help steer them in the right direction. It is hard to get a canoe to turn until you get some forward momentum. In the same way, once your boat is moving (the ideas are flowing) you can then begin to steer their ship by asking good questions like:
- How do you know if this is true? (what are the facts?)
- What approach may help you decide the answer?
- Are there other questions that emerge?
- Are there additional resources we should consider?
- What would be a good next step?
- How could we measure or evaluate this?
As a facilitator of learning, there is a sweet spot to facilitating the process; between giving space and offering suggestions to get them unstuck. Acknowledging and paraphrasing the good thinking along the way brings a safety to the process so people step in and contribute. Posing good questions and offering suggestions from your experience, all help steer their momentum and thinking forward.
The terms PARTNERING and INVITATION are good ones to practice. Keeping sight of the end goal is your job. Keep bringing that clarity forward and invite them, partner with them to get the results in a way that they see, and move forward. You will see them engage and their interest drive the results.
This is not laissez faire parenting. Rather, you know and hold the standard that learning is their job as you know the importance of that end outcome. You have the experience that they do not. You are the parent for good reason. You know a good education yields the skills they need for healthy independence. By paying attention and partnering with them in the “How’ to accomplish this, engagement and ownership increase and they are further forward toward healthy independence.
What to do next:
- Step back to observe what is already happening without you.
- Grab a skill they learned on their own this summer. Start there.
- How did they engage and learn that skill?
- What did you observe in their energy and approach?
- From that winning place, identify the skills they used to do this and see how these skills could transfer to academic learning this fall.
Welcome to Episode 1 of Their Best Parent!
I invite you to pause and reflect on a few key tips for prioritizing what matters most in your child’s academic success, so that we, as parents, can be our child’s best support.
How can you, as a parent encourage a growth mindset in your child? How do you approach challenges? Do you encourage effort or only focus on results?
If you're like me, you could use a bit of inspiration. I find students motivate me; because they have that hard-to-manufacture quality called hope. If you need inspiration, this one's for you!
Self-care is the fuel you may be missing! Have you stopped to think... "what does self-care look like for me? How do I ensure I show up at my best?." We need to put on our own mask first before helping others. Do you prioritize your own self-care? If not, this episode would be helpful for you.
Motivation is the energy we all operate out of. Motivation is one of if not the most important thing to focus on in your child's learning journey. How do we fuel motivation? How can we motivate our kids when they don't like school or feel discouraged? Read this blog post for more.
Do you think that boundaries can in fact promote freedom? It's an interesting idea and is worth considering. How do we, as parents, provide boundaries that help and not inhibit their growth.
Learning to partner with your child for their academic results. Your child needs your support and needs to feel some autonomy with their learning. Check out this blog post for more :)
Sometimes, as parents, we are just trying to get through the day to day. We forget to realize that our inattentive nature is hindering our child's learning. This is something that we can't ignore. This is an opportunity, not a criticism. Try for a week and see the impact in your child. I promise it will be fruitful.
How do you respond when things go wrong? I know for me, I have seen better days. We are only human. But. there are a significant number of studies that prove that responding with a growth mindset when things go wrong has a huge impact on your learning and the learning of your child.