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Who are they?
July 9, 2021
Pause to pay attention to your child and what makes them unique.
This is the 2nd blog post in a summer reflective series inviting you to refocus on what's most important in your child's learning.
One thing we could all agree on, if we were facing reality, is that we could all slow down and observe more.
“Stop and smell the roses” was a popular anecdote to describe the beauty that is found when you pay attention.
Could that be true of raising your child?
What if you took time this summer to slow down and observe your children more?
What if you purposed yourself to see the beauty within them and prioritize paying more attention to them?
What would be the impact of this?
Now… wait a second… if you are anything like me, you are probably going into a guilt loop. You begin to think of all the times you misunderstood, ran over their ideas to summarize because you just had to get that next thing done, lacked patience or provided a solution that made things worse.
Ok...enough of that! Let’s get real.
We can also agree that parenting is the most challenging thing any of us ever does. Why? We love these children so darn much that only the best will do for them. That’s pretty cool isn’t it. That we love that much! Don’t you think that that love is what they remember even after difficult times? Haven’t they ever turned to you with such gentleness and reminded you that it was ok-they didn’t need you to be perfect. ‘Love covers a multitude of wrongs’. Not the wrongs that we don’t own and don’t change or are motivated selfishly for our good but the wrongs that came with good motives, but poor skills or lack of experience or understanding. There is space and grace for those. You are the best parent your child has. Let’s keep moving forward.
How could you structure, brainstorm ideas, or set up some strategies going forward to purposefully pay more attention to your child?
Listening
Could you write down the things your child talks to you about?
- What are the themes? What do they enjoy talking about?
- Where do they share? in the car, by the sink drying dishes?
- What style of sharing do they do? Jokes or funny taglines, emotional moments, silly things their friends do, observations they made in their world, questions they ponder.
Watching
Could you write down the things your child does in their ‘own’ time?
- What types of things do they tend to do? work with their hands to build, to play, to perform a trick, talk-communicate -with whom-how-small groups, large groups.
- What is it they enjoy and are naturally practicing, participating in, or drawn to?
Seeing the gifts
Could you write down the unique talents you’ve noticed in your child?
- What do they do more of or better at?
- What focus do they take?
- What themes do they follow?
- What observations do they make?
- What things do they see uniquely?
- What motivates them to get up in the morning?
- What brings them joy, laughter or has them wanting to know more?
- What are they uniquely curious about?
Recognize the Hurdles
Could you identify what gets in the way of their success?
- Are there approaches in communication that work best with them-and others you have observed shut down communication?
- Are there approaches to learning that increase their engagement and ones that have them look blank and confused?
- Do they group information together in themes or communicate details?
- Do they think from left to right or from the centre out - like spokes on a wheel?
- Do they prefer to watch and try - ask questions and do research before - take one piece of information and try it before trying the next step?
- What else can get them stuck or has them moving piece by piece forward?
Celebrating the Person
Putting it all together… Take a few moments to write down a list of specific memories, observations, moments when you thought: ‘that’s interesting-look at what they did there?, huh - i didn’t expect that to happen.
Pay attention and write down the details of your observations when you catch them winning. Yes, you heard that right. Pay attention and observe them in their unique interesting selves. Then...say it, recognize it, take them aside and take a moment to recognize and celebrate them.
Watch, you will see them get energized. There is nothing more encouraging for them than to be seen and known, to feel understood, and as a result feel the value you have for them.
Welcome to Episode 1 of Their Best Parent!
I invite you to pause and reflect on a few key tips for prioritizing what matters most in your child’s academic success, so that we, as parents, can be our child’s best support.
How can you, as a parent encourage a growth mindset in your child? How do you approach challenges? Do you encourage effort or only focus on results?
If you're like me, you could use a bit of inspiration. I find students motivate me; because they have that hard-to-manufacture quality called hope. If you need inspiration, this one's for you!
Self-care is the fuel you may be missing! Have you stopped to think... "what does self-care look like for me? How do I ensure I show up at my best?." We need to put on our own mask first before helping others. Do you prioritize your own self-care? If not, this episode would be helpful for you.
Motivation is the energy we all operate out of. Motivation is one of if not the most important thing to focus on in your child's learning journey. How do we fuel motivation? How can we motivate our kids when they don't like school or feel discouraged? Read this blog post for more.
Do you think that boundaries can in fact promote freedom? It's an interesting idea and is worth considering. How do we, as parents, provide boundaries that help and not inhibit their growth.
Do you catch your child when they are winning? Do you praise their victories? Or are you more likely to notice when they fail? As parents, our role is imperative. Catch your child winning and remind them of what they are good at. This will help them when they do fail. Check out this blog post for more on this.
Learning to partner with your child for their academic results. Your child needs your support and needs to feel some autonomy with their learning. Check out this blog post for more :)
Sometimes, as parents, we are just trying to get through the day to day. We forget to realize that our inattentive nature is hindering our child's learning. This is something that we can't ignore. This is an opportunity, not a criticism. Try for a week and see the impact in your child. I promise it will be fruitful.